As a natural born leader, a mentor, big sister, daughter, auntie and friend with a nurturing spirit, I think it can go without saying that there are plenty of people relying, depending and following me. Some would think, oh that's the life". Uh, no, it's not! Although there is a sense of pride that comes with it, this way of living can some times be overwhelming. And while I am out lending my life to those around me, I often times forget about the most important to lend my life to... me!
Going through the hustle and bustle of life, it's kind of hard to remember things that matter to you most. Should it be that way? Not whatsoever. But does it happen? Yes. Who actually benefits from a life that is always lent to others? Others, right? Grant it, there is some sort of fulfillment knowing that you are a positive impact in the lives of others. However, how fulfilling is it when you look up and realize life has passed you by while you were helping everyone but yourself achieve and reach their potential?
Wisdom says to find a balance. Minah, would ask "how?". Well, B is for balance (in this case). Sure, it's great to help others, volunteer, mentor, lend a helping hand or shoulder to cry on. One must also learn when it is time to refresh, re boost and REST. Often times I take time to evaluate on the issue at hand. I have to honeslty ask myself, when is the last time you have done something for yourself? From the outside looking in, you might think, that's cray, everyone takes time for themselves. No, everyone does not, which lead me to where I am now.
I've gotten so used to "being there" for everyone else, dropping off, picking up, cooking, accepting late night phone calls, mini counseling sessions via text, that I have forgotten what taking care of Minah looks like and feels like. There has been no balance. Shame on me! I don't know if I have been waiting on things to let up so I can start taking better care of me or if I was waiting on someone else to start taking care of me. Whichever the case, I am no longer waiting. After zillion of instances of being selfless, it's time I start being just a little selfish, for lack of a better word. I have got to start doing more myself. I have lost sight of Minah, almost completely and that is a HUGE problem.
Starting, today, I will think of myself more than I have in the past. What good are you if neglect yourself? How helpful are you in a burned out phase?
Maybe, just maybe, I have finally figured out what the phrase "doing me" really means.
What have you done for YOU lately?