Who's ya daddy?

These are my Father’s Day afterthoughts:

A few years ago I struggled so much with the relationship I had with my father, actually the lack thereof. He wasn’t there for me how I wanted him to be and had not been for a large portion of my life. The unforgiveness in my heart inhibited from being completely *DING* free to move about my destiny. I can remember explaining this to my accountability partner (if you don’t have one you need to get one like NOW). She prayed with me and for me. After pointing out how much of a father God is and can be, she gave me this exercise to do. I had to write down scriptures that reflected what I wanted in a father and how God is already acting in that role. Truthfully, it took a little while for me to come up with what I wanted in a father. Everyone who has an absent father knows they want a present father but I wonder if they know what attributes they want and need in a father. I didn’t, until I really put some thought into it.

The attributes and scriptures I came up with were:

Protection- “He guards the course of the just and protects the way of his faithful ones” Proverbs 2:8

Provides- “He provides food for those who fear him” Psalm 111:5

Counsels- “I will praise the Lord who counsels me…” Psalm 16:7

Guides-“He guides me in the path of righteousness” Psalm 23:3

It wasn’t until after I completed the assignment, I thought to myself “WOW, God really does do all that… who needs a ‘daddy’?” I didn’t say it in a mean way but I was convinced that I was angry about something I thought I didn’t have. The truth of the matter is I had it; I was just looking for it in the wrong person. Because I was looking for what I wanted and what I needed in the wrong person(s), I was not able to operate in the fullness that God had been calling me live in. I didn’t know who God was (and I am still learning who HE is) in this capacity. Because I didn’t know, I was angry, bitter and just plain STANK.
A while ago the speaker at our church said something that resonated so loudly in my spirit. He said he had been watching people like Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie. He said, “They don’t act like they are impoverished, because they are not. They don’t worry if they are going to eat that evening, they don’t worry if things are gonna work out for them or anything like that. They do what their father either allows or instructs to do. If they want or need something they don’t make the request in the name but in the name of their father”. WHAT ?! That was good! It blessed my heals off. All that time I worried about “needing” but it was only because I didn’t know who my [Heavenly] father was.

So in the midst of all the negative and positive Father’s day hoopla, I was reminded of who my real “daddy” was and STILL is. I thank God that even though my biological father isn’t who I desired him to be growing up God sent people like Jim (RIP), my god-father, Daddy Al, Uncle Stanley, Uncle Mike and even PC to be examples and father figures for me.  Even if I didn’t have those earthly father figures around the presence of the Holy Father is ALWAYS around and I will thank God for that for the rest of my life.

Why I can rejoice now?  God has afforded yet another opportunity for my father and I to reconcile.  With all the things that have been going on about my brother Brian  , my dad and I have gotten closer. I thank God that in the midst of all the "I wish you's" and "You should have's" we are still able to lay those things aside for the greater good of our relationship. I'll write more about this soon, very.  God is good man. Seriously!

P.S. “So if you sinful people know how to give gifts to your children how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him” Matthew 7:11