Yes They Can!!!

When it comes to female/male relationships, one of the most popular questions that has been asked is, can men and women be just friends?

In honor of one of my best friend's (a guy) birthday, I submit to you, yes, they can! What? Men and women can be just friends, not with any benefits, other than those that come with a platonic relationship? Uh... Yeah!

Growing up, for some reason I was always closer to males. I had more male friends than female for numerous reasons. I gravitated towards them and they did the same. Maybe it was because I have brothers and no sisters. Or maybe it's just because my tolerance on the drama was slim. Nevertheless, that's who I was and in most cases still am.

There were a few things that I did not realize about this uncommon phenomenon : 1. Some people perceived me as a hoe. After all, I've gotta be having sex with all those dudes since I was with them all the time right? (sarcasm) 2. I was making a few girls and girlfriends jealous. 3. I needed girl friends and 4. These dudes, my friends, could've been standing in the way of "the one".

Regardless of what I didn't realize until I graduated high school, I had proven everyone wrong. Men and women can most definitely be platonic friends and good friends at that!

So, Minah, tell me how it's done? I am so glad you asked.

Boundaries are key. If you want to remain platonic with the opposite sex you most definitely establish boundaries. There are certain times of night I do not call my guy friends, unless it's an emergency or I need them to come lay hands on someone for me. None of my guy friends will enter my apartment after a certain time a night either. It just doesn't look right. You keep your friends just friends by leaving no ambiguity.

Communication is also extremely important. There have been times things got a little fuzzy with some of my male friends. Some wanted to hook up with me and I wanted to hook up with others. Communication broke the ice. We were able to discuss rather we wanted to go further and make it a not so platonic relationship or keep things as they were. If we hadn’t been friends before the fuzziness I am sure those conversations would have been slightly awkward but because those were my “boys” it was all good.

Keeping emotions in check is always something that helped me a GREAT deal. As a single woman or man there are times you get tired of hanging with the girls and the fellas. You begin to want a companion. You look around and then something tells you “why not him” referring to one of my guy friends. Emotions will begin to tell you that you have liked your platonic friend all along, just because you are lonely. STOP THAT! Especially, if it’s not true. Remember that your emotions are to serve you, not to harm you. And believe you me, if you begin an intimate relationship with someone just because you were led by your emotions, you will be harmed.

Over time I stopped caring about what people were saying about me having plenty of guy friends. I did focus on what my interaction with them said. Perception is everything. The boundaries I set may have eased the girlfriends of my friends a little but some were sill jealous and that topic is another blog in itself. I got me some good girl friends too. As a woman you need them. It’s good to have a guy’s perspective but having the same sex friends can enrich your life just as much, if not more. I haven’t quite figured out how to not allow my guy friends stand in the way of the “one” yet. But I think them being married or engaged will help that.

I wrote this after spending an entire day at Disneyland with my friend/brother. It feels great to have a friend that knows how to remain a friend but that loves like a brother. God has blessed me with great friends that have turned into family. One’s that will sit and cry with me, go to war with me and go to battle with me when I can’t fight for myself. What a great feeling it is to have a man teach me how a man should treat and respect me by example.

Can man and woman be just friends? Of course they can.

What say you???