We Look So Much Better When We Smile

In a quite candid conversation with my dad, he explained to me black womens problem.  They frown too muchevery time you see em walking down the street, they always have some mean look on their face. Thats why I don't fool with them. I knew this very sorry excuse for a reason wasn't even half the basis on which he ditched black women after my mom.   But, instead of the instant neck rolling attitude I wanted to give pops, I listened. I didn't verbalize it but, in that particular instance I actually agreed with him. This is unheard of. I cant believe I actually agree with my dad. I am not gonna tell him though. I did agree and for the subsequent months and even years, I not only observed this hypothesis to be true, but I made an effort to smile more, even when I didnt feel like it.

What is it about "us" that makes us walk around all day looking like someone stole our bikes? How can we be so unapproachable all the time? I know everyone has their bad days but is that every day? And how come women of other ethnicities are having the same bad days? If  that is your excuse.

After posing these questions on several social media sites I gathered that we really don't have a valid reason. Yes, we may have learned from our mothers and even from the mistakes of our fathers, to be an "I'm not gon take no ish" type of woman. The "stank" face can also act as a defense mechanism when you are in a dark alley or an unfamiliar area, but what it also says is "I dont want to be bothered, leave me alone, I am mean and I dont have time for your madness". Oh, thats not what you are trying to project? Well then, smile.

We, as black women have been miseducated, by our mothers, peers and sometimes even by the media. We have been taught that a dont mess with me look pronounces confidence and assertiveness.  In most cases it declares our perception of others; those we know and dont know and its predominantly toward men in the beginning and then transfers to men and women alike. Most of us were taught that the stank face symbolizes strength. Wrong! And NO! That aggression is not natural.

The "stank" face is a complete turn off; to men and women. People are less likely to approach you when the stank face is on display. Imagine what you may be missing out on all because you werent smiling.

Let's discuss.