Reason.Season.Lifetime.

Growing up my mother always told me that friends come in your life for a reason (lesson), a season or a lifetime.   Although it was an early lesson she taught, at 28 years old I am just now grasping the concept.  What I have come to learn is people place expectations and perceptions on their “friends” too soon and too fast. Then titles are assigned.  There’s the best friends, the BFF’s, the sissy’s and I am sure there are plenty other terms of endearment.  Most of us want at least one “ride or die” or “road dawg” that we can call our own.  But what happens when that “ride or die” is no longer in the picture or they suddenly have a different BFF? Do we get upset?  Are we offeneded? Do we communicate that offense?

If change is inevitable (sure to happen) why are we so shocked, upset or hurt when our friendships change?
I raise these questions because in this very moment of my life everything is changing including friendships.  Those that were once there have moved on for various reasons.  Those that are here now may not always be and those that were once friends have begun to return.  It takes a lot out of a person to intentionally be angry or bent out of shape.  Energy is wasted on blatantly ignoring a person, avoiding eye contact and then going home pissed off at yourself for your childish behavior.

Now that everything is changing I have reached back into that backpack of childhood lessons and I decided to always remember that friends are here for a reason, season or a lifetime.   People come and go as we all know . When they leave, for whatever reason they left, take stock.  What did you learn from this person? What did you learn about yourself from being in that friendship? There is always a lesson to be learned. Often times we are just too stuck on the circumstances in which the friendship ended that we can’t learn it. Just like the temperatures change when the seasons change, so do friendships.  I am not as close as I was with those I was friends with during middle school. I wouldn’t expect to be either.  So much has changed since then.  We, well most of us have matured since then.  We like different things and different people.  Once I graduated high school and traveled to DC, a number of my friendships changed.  That season was over. Some had a hard time accepting the change. But I am forever grateful for the things we encountered together during that season, good and bad. Although I am appreciative of those “reason” and “season” friends I am mostly thankful for those “lifetime” friends.  Every now and then you bump into someone and you just know that they are going to be in your life for a lifetime.  It doesn’t happen often but I am glad it happened to me. These are the “no matter what’s”. No matter what season or reason they will be there no matter what.


Rather it is a reason, season or lifetime, it’s always good to know. When we know, the probability of misplaced expectations and misperceptions are indeed lower.  Be grateful for the reason, thankful for the season and enjoy the lifetime.