39!

My beautiful god daughter was born this week.  I was so proud you would have thought I was the mother and she was my child. Rather they are an accident or planned, babies are such blessings.  They bring people so much joy. Well, at least they bring me joy.

As we sat in the room waiting for the baby to return from the nursery, the doctor came in to give the parents his report on how the new born was doing.  He started blabbing, making himself relatable. “"My wife had her first  at 21 and her last at 39”". “Thirty-nine!!!” Instantly my brain fast forwarded 10 years. “Lord please don’t let me have my first child at 39.” Thirty-nine isn’t old at all.  It’s just too old to have a baby. Or is it?


For the most part I know that one can'’t really put a bullet point on their projected timeline, “"have a baby here"” and it actually goes according to plan. But at what point does a woman decide to no longer wait on Mr. Right? When does she decide “I am having a baby man or no man”?

There are so many women who long to have children and are willing to be single parents if they have to be, all for the sake of what? I get it. Somewhat. Is having a baby that serious? What'’s the point of being a single parent?  My mom raised 3 of us, for the most part, alone and I wouldn'’t wish that on anyone. It'’s rough. Wouldn’'t a woman deprive a child of not having a father if they choose to be a single parent, just because their eggs were on the verge of withering?

Could I do it? Not sure. If and when God blesses my womb with some children, I want my child to have a daddy, a good one at that. At 28 years old, yes, I really want kids but I want a family. It doesn’t have to be a white picket fence or anything but I don’'t see myself being a single parent. We will see what happens when I hit thirty-nine.