Honest Hour

Last night I hit the lowest point on the discouraged meter. Lately, for whatever reason I have just been discontent with my current everything. I wake up pleading for more; more in my career, more in my wallet, more sleep, more motivation... just more.   There has been a constant reminder that I am not where I want to be, still .  This morning I was reminded of something I wrote on my 30th birthday :

The spoiled brat in me has learned that just because things don't go my way (as I wanted them to) does not mean they are not going MY way (they why that they are supposed to be going/for my good). Again, I am still not where I want to be but if I wasn't here the journey to where I am going would be a lot different. Where I want to be versus where I need to be. There is a HUGE difference. I need to be here. Things are starting to align themselves with my hopes, dreams and prayers and because of that I am grateful that I am in this place.

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I need to get back to that "grateful" place. The place where I respected the process, regardless if I agreed with what is happening or what isn't happening. Somewhere I lost sight of the process and the need for a process. We live in what I like to call the "ZAP" generation.  We want EVERYTHING to operate just like a microwave. We want to put things in a ZAP we want them done in instants.  But that is not how life works. There are very distinct and even divine reasons why we don't get everything we want instantaneously, if we get them at all.  Think about it... Would you appreciate the things your heart longs for if God just descended down with them as soon as you asked Him for it? I know I wouldn't. Or would I? There is just something about a waiting season that makes you more appreciate and humble than you would if you didn't have to wait.

My issue: I want so much more for myself and those around me. I am not saying I want those things at this very moment but I would like them soon. Or I would at least like to see them coming over the hill, ya know. Right now there is no sight of these things and my ambition is slowing diminishing right along with my contentment.  I keep telling myself "there has to be more to life than this". 

This morning I opened my devotional today and I am so glad I didn't ignore it based on the title Jump Start Your Dreams .  I have already started my dreams. They don't need a jump start. I kept reading and it was just what I needed.  I was reminded that just because I have a vision, a dream and hope that doesn't mean the things I hope for will immediately emerge. If God is just as interested in the process of visions as He is in the end result, I should be too. 

We get so wrapped up in the vision but we forget all about the process it takes for the vision to come to fruition. God was with me when He gave me the vision, surely He is in the midst of the process. So why am I worried about the end result?

I have learned that I need to find a balance between contentment and ambition. I have failed to enjoy where I am on the way to where I am going. Hmmmm what a thought!  So this new journey, learning to relish in the now while I am on the way to where I need to be begins now. I must always keep my visions and dreams in front of me and remember that God will help me live these dreams step-by step, day by day. 

We may not always feel like we are being progressive and sometimes life gets in the way of living. Life will sometimes try to get us to quit. But we have to believe that God has the dopest plan for our lives. Today, choose with me to trust Him to help us live our dreams. He's given us way more to trust over our circumstances.

Can you do that?